The school prom is Tonight and there is so much to do, my hair is a mess and my nails are bare and I don’t even have a dress. I’m getting my dress after school with my mom and it is going to be terrible my mom doesn’t know what I like.
At the boutique my mom walks to the dresses with the flowers and I was like mom what are you doing come over here. I walk her over to the pink and blue strapless dresses. We ended up buying the pink one.Then it is time for my hair and nails. We went to Beauty on the Beach and it was terrible my mom was talking to me the entire time. It was finally time for prom.It was 7:00 when I got there. I waited until 8:00 for my date and he still wasn't there. HE DITCHED ME THAT LITTLE JERK.
You could definitely tell that it was a girl talking, but I don't see how that was a love story.
ReplyDeleteI like how you have your narrator panicking,which is pretty true about girls before these dances and such. That part is very realistic but...Ben nobody is going to buy their dress the day of prom! We have this planned out weeks in advance!
ReplyDeleteI don't know that
ReplyDeleteMost girls aren't actually like that. We are usually more dramatic, and most times we are ready at least an hour before prom. AND Sophie and I love shopping with our moms! This is way too sexist.
ReplyDeleteThe story is funny, but I think that you should put how she feels about the jerk who ditched her. It would make the piece more sentimental and we would actually feel something in the end if we knew something about the guy. Just add a romantic love story of how she thinks that "he's the one" or something... Your story in general just needs more meaning and thought added to it.
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